All the Knowledge in the World
by Katt of a Thousand Shadows
Summary: My first songfic. It is no mystery who it is about. PLZ r&r, no flames. As I said, It is my fist


Disclaimer: I don not own any of Harry Potter. The song is _Things I'll Never Say_, by Avril. I do not own it either. 

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I'm tugging at my hair

I'm pulling at my clothes

I'm trying to keep my cool

I know it shows

I'm strain at my feet

My cheeks are turning red

I'm trying to find the words

Inside my head...

****

Hermione's brown eyes snuck across the potions room. They found their target and quickly flitted down to her feet. '_It's preposterous! A Gryffindor Prefect and .....'_ the seventh year student let it hang in the air. She straightened her Gryffindor robes as her eyes tried to steal back over to the man in the chair. An enemy, a crush, a curse. 

His platinum blonde hair was straight combed as usual, his cold blue eyes lit with a fire, but still so icy cold. Draco Malfoy was always the same. Maybe that is what drew Hermione to him. He never rushed off with some half thought plan. Never was caught unawares. Never seemed to change. Always the same Malfoy. But that was where half the problem lie. Malfoy would never think of being seen with a muggle born wizard unless it was absolutely necessary. 

The other half lie with Harry and Ron. She had gone up to Malfoy the year before, finally mounting the courage, when they had stepped in. Whether accidental or not, they had never mentioned it and she had never tried again. 

She looked back over towards him. Their eyes locked for an instance in which her heart stopped beating, her lung stopped breathing, and time froze. A moment for eternity. Hermione could feel the blood creeping into her cheeks, her gaze dropped again, it didn't rise until class ended, and then only to see his back as he walked out the door...

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And I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect.

But I know you're worth it

You're worth it

Yeah...

She wondered now if the way she had always studied was so that maybe he would finally see her as an equal, someone worthy of him. Not a mudblood. A scarlet blush rose through her cheeks every time his arm brushed hers in the hall, every time their eyes locked, every time he walked near. He had changed since before. After his father's death, it seemed a great weight was lifted from his shoulders. He would laugh and smile now, his eyes alight with joy. But still, there was that cold hard stare, the layer of ice. 

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If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you...away...

Be with you night and day

Am I squeezing you too tight

If I could see what I want to see

I want to see you go down...on one knee...

marry me today

Guess I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say

She looked at him across the Great Hall. He laughed at a joke and threw his head back to laugh. She was entranced by his every move. She wished she would go and talk to him. Chided herself for her foolishness. Practiced what to say over and over again, but lost the courage. Gained the courage, but didn't know what to say. If he would just talk to her, she could do it. But that would never happen. She would need all the knowledge in the world to just approach, nonetheless tell him how she felt. She would be cursed to watch him through the castle and never have the courage.

He had been so much kinder, almost civil. She wanted him to know. She wanted to be with him forever. She never wanted to leave him. But it was hopeless. She would never ask and he would never accept. It was wishes, dreams, nothing more than smoke.

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It don't do me any good, Its just a waste of time

What use is it to you, What's on my mind

If it ain't coming out, we're not going anywhere

So why can't I just tell you that I care

They were both prefects, why couldn't they bridge the Slytherin/Gryffindor gap. Hermione walked up to him after dinner. Finally, once again, mounting the courage. The problem wasn't with him or Harry and Ron. It was her not being brave enough. He looked up at her, not with the mask of haughtiness she had expected, but with a look of disinterest. She wasn't sure what was better. 

"What is it, Granger?" he asked.

"Umm...I...was wondering, when do Slytherin and Gryffindor play against one another in Quidditch?" She mentally berated herself. That wasn't what she had come to say!

"A week from tomorrow. Shouldn't you keep up with your own schedule?" He turned back to the lumps of Crabbe and Goyle. Hermione felt the blood rush towards her face and walked out. She began running as soon as she hit the halls and ran all the way to the Common Room. 

Harry and Ron were waiting. "Mione, what's wrong?" asked Harry, rising from the soft red chair. 

"I'm fine." 

"Why are you so red?" asked Ron.

"I ran all the way up here," she stated plainly. It was true, she didn't have to tell them it was because she was so embarrassed for herself. 

"Well, if your all-right, we'll get started on the homework," Harry said and let the conversation drop. They sat down and began working. Harry kept glancing at her and she thought he knew. But did he? she didn't wait to find out. As soon as they finished, she rushed off to sleep and left early that morning. Too many uncomfortable questions...

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What's wrong, with my song

These words keep slipping away

I stutter, I stumble, like I've got nothing to say

She walked towards him again. This time in a break. He was sitting on the steps to the castle, though the world was cold ice around him. 

"Draco," she began, a good start.

He turned to look at her and for a brief moment she though she saw something in his eyes, but it was gone before barely recognized.

"I...I'm...you...when..." she stopped, yet her mouth continued moving. She was trying to find the words. They were there, somewhere. She could see him waiting. '_I love you!'_ screamed her mind, but nothing came. Her thoughts ran in circles. Then she turned and ran. She couldn't do it. She knew what she had seen. The same thing he must see looking into her eyes. He would never admit it, but he was as afraid as she was of saying it. She wanted to tell him, needed to, but she couldn't. the words fled. her mouth was as dry as sandpaper and her hands wet with sweat. She could feel her heart pounding and her breath racing. But she ran. 

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And I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect.

But I know you're worth it

You're worth it

Yeah...

She was tired of trying to be so perfect. To know what she would say. The word would come. She searched through the school, eventually coming upon him in an abandoned classroom. he sat there, gazing out of a frost covered window. A fire burned softly, casting shadows across him. The door creaked open slowly and he turned to look at her. The words were there. All her preparation had been useless when face against love. It seemed that all the knowledge in the world was just a vague shadow against love. Finally, she began, the words seeming to come from outside herself. She softly shut the door as she began and the same look passed through his eyes. "Draco, I must tell you something-"

~*~

There you go, my first song fic! 


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